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I am loving @ Saturday, July 14, 2007
He is my ex-boyfriend.
He was my boyfriend.


How do you actually talk to someone whom you've not spoken for 5 months? It wasnt the duration of the zero communication, because I could actually acheive 7 months of zero communication with better half and my closest friends. It was the events that happened between us, and the aftermath of it was something I thought I wouldnt have to mention again.


The thing is, I may be only 19 and havent gotten much luck with guys as some of my peers, but my experiences probably taught me more than the many ladies who walked down the aisle on 07/07/07.

I thought it was a dream last night. I just didnt have enough courage and guts. After all, it was more than a closure. It was more than a fate sealed. It was beyond apologies and forgiveness. I dont feel any better when you apologised, because I had never once blamed you for anything. I guess I wouldnt know how to handle the awkwardness that followed. Then again, nothing might follow.

I got this quote from Ivan. " The heart does things reasons cant explain." Damn. Someone once asked me this question - " If you were to see him again, what would you do? " Now, I've pondered this question millions of times. And I've conjured thousands of answers, from the most absurd to the most dramatic to the most practical. For the record, I'm just gonna smile and say hi. Just like how I'd smiled and said goodbye.

I was angry, yes, but for a while. I didnt want to manifest into bitterness towards you. So i'm gonna continue smiling at you, because that's how we keep the memories alive of someone we love.

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