Can't take my eyes off from you

I am loving @ Wednesday, October 26, 2005

So it has come to this. E for maths. D for econs. D for chemistry. C5 for gp. C6 for mother tongue. I'm promoted. Not marginally. But i passed every single subject. Note this. I never said I passed well.

" 237 and you go manjusri? You're wasting your life there man. You heard of the gangsterism there? You want to spend 4 years of your life surrounded by ah huays and chao ah bengs?"
" You better do well there I'm telling you. You'll be a total disgrace to me if you're not the top 10% of your cohort."

Adults love statistics. They feel secured knowing that there're numbers to ascertain the high-lows of life.

"Your class expected MSG for chemistry is B3, according to your PSLE scores."

Figures again. Next comes the hypocrisy.

" Her first, second, third, fourth choices all cannot enter. Have to go all the way to Manjusri. Dunno what happen to her. Tell her to study well to get into a nearby school. Now have to go Manjusri. So inaccessible! Have to walk so far to the nearest bus stop."
"That's the problem of going to a neighbourhood school. You guys have goaless futures. People in top schools are already discussing about entering Princeton College."

It's repeating. This all-too-familiar of feeling's back.
Only this time. I dun have 4F.
I dunno how you guys still believe in me. Lord, I dunno how to place faith in myself, I only know how to place faith in You.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
TELL ME. BUT I WON'T OBEY YOU.
COS YOU ARE NO MASTER TO ME.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THAT 12 POINTS IS A FAKE.
I CHEATED DURING O LEVELS.

I'm neither psychologically destructed nor mentally distressed by your presence. I pity you for never knowing our Saviour's love. Maybe if you do, you won't have to unleash your suppressed agony and anal-retentiveness on me. One more year. I dun need you to tell me. I'm telling you. The battle's only starting.

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